Sunday, October 24, 2004

The Eternal Headache of a Scornful Vegan

I am a vegan

Pure, Organic
Meek, Malnourished

Chickpeas are my meat pellets
Tofu is my life

The art of vegetarianism is pacifism between furry organisms

A Denny's Grand Slam is a dinner of Death!
Two slices of pig skin, a couple chicken fetuses
Sunny-side up and side of toast…please

A carton of eggs is not what I see
Twelve homemade coffins for under two bucks

Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O…and on this farm he had a chicken…

...but that doesn't matter anymore, an Egg McMuffin is much more important than a chicken well versed in Euclidean geometry. The poultry populous is eternally damned.

Mortally assassinated. Painfully annihilated. Pathetically depopulated.
Kill the chicken…kill…kill the chicken!
But I digress
I must confess
My body yearns for bacon
My head is throbbing
I must give in
To my paganistic, carnivorous desire of flesh
Give me some bacon and let the pig bleed

10 Comments:

At January 29, 2005 at 8:45 PM, Blogger jb said...

I just saw you on Premium Blend and although I am a vegan and should be offended I fell out laughing. Best with your career!

Soy Rules!

 
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